My name is Danielle Marie Robinson. I am a woman living in Chicago, teaching Yoga, writing my experiences and insight, and loving my dogs, my man, my friends and my family. I love to laugh. I really love to eat. Mostly I love to love, and everything good loving entails. I’ve been profoundly impacted by the practice and teaching of Yoga, its influence has trickled down into every spoke of my life’s wheel. My closest and true connections are those gifted by Yoga, whether being the genuinely awe-inspiring students I’ve met, my humbling and passionate fellow teachers, those who inform and mentor me, my dearest friends and the many interesting human beings in between that share an interest and enthusiasm for living a joyful life. I am so fucking grateful every damn day. And that’s where You, Me and Yoga Makes 3 comes in. (side note: I do enjoy a good F bomb, it is only expressed in passion and love, never to harm or offend. let’s revolutionize our vocabulary!)
What began as a somewhat cutesy play on words has grown to significant depth and meaning in my life. The practice of Yoga is meant to be shared, exuded, reflected, absorbed, and continuously learned and taught. You teach via the way you engage with the world, in how you live your life. It has little to do with the roles of Teacher and Student, and more to do with human to human exchange, how we influence and engage with each other.
You inspire me. I aim to connect and inspire you. There is no me without you. There is no one to teach without open ears to listen, without an open mind to provoke, or an open heart to resonate. It is the same IAMness that Yoga has exposed within me that I am aware of because what I see in you. Just as love is a reflective experience, we need others to express it, we need a symbiotic exchange of positive emotion, teaching Yoga is the same. We need and benefit from each other. I learn from you, you learn from me. It’s such a fantastically fucking awesome relationship and the biggest meaning behind YMaYM3.
It is my biggest gift getting to know students, in their practice and often in their personal lives. These are sincerely wonderful human beings and they without a doubt keep the fire lit under my butt to keep learning, to keep improving, to hopefully keep inspiring them, to keep their interest and dedication to Yoga and themselves. To choose to be a teacher and writer requires the feedback and connection with others and I am so impassioned to share what I’ve learned with such intelligent, kind and open people. I learn from each class I teach and through each piece I write. Feedback is essential.
The number 3 is powerful, prime. It carries many meanings, shares a similar image with the OM (aum) symbol, and is reflective of our enduring cycles of life; a beginning, middle and end. Our breath is the simplest way to recognize and access this pervasive cycle, but at any given moment we feel the energy of starting, of persevering and of dissolving. Yoga restores equanimity as we constantly move through these cycles of life.
You, Me and Yoga Makes 3 is also a bizarro version of the holy trinity. You is my ego, Me is my essence, and Yoga is Yoga. This dynamic exists within me on an everyday basis. I constantly learn from my ego in how to further live from my essence. This has been my present and it will be my future.
I’m compelled as a champion for happiness to invest in my own peace and wellness so I can authentically pass along the knowledge and insight I glean along my way. I am human, fallible, constantly learning, but I aim to live what I’m teaching. I feel so eager and grateful to live each day. I feel better and better in my skin each day. So much of this sense of peace and bliss is thanks to Yoga, but along with crediting the inspiration, I have to credit the inspired: Me. This goes for you too. The better you are each day is due to how you apply what you learn into how you breathe and interact moment to moment. Yoga instills this amazing responsibility, we are in charge of our happiness, of how we perceive our external stimuli, recognizing that how we view the world is merely a mirrored reflection of how we see ourselves.
Together we must help each other feel grateful for all that we were and all that we are, while feeling optimistic and excited for who we’ll become. I believe so strongly in utilizing Yoga to empower each other to be our own best teachers, to carve our own unique paths to happiness, and to find collaborations with others to help encourage, uplift, inform and inspire the world, however big or small that world may be. We can begin to see “God” or “Yoga” in everyday life, in simply being, supremely present, elevated, high on Life. So, I thank You, Me and Yoga Makes 3. I need a balance of all to keep me evolving on this journey to an ecstatic, loving, travel filled life where everyday I laugh a lot, I eat well, I give good hugs, I move my body in a mindful way with others, and I breathe more conscious breaths than the day before.
Here’s to a life where we can keep opening our minds, bodies and hearts. Namaste! Below I’m pictured with my partner in Yogis Can Help, Veronica Rottman. We’re bringing Yoga and supplies to cancer patients in Cange, Haiti next month. We’re humbled, grateful and thrilled to bring our knowledge and compassion to more under-served around this beautiful planet.
I’m teaching with my NYC Sonic alumni Shuli Burke, now a thriving teacher in Boston, on a Travel Yogi Yoga and Surf retreat in El Salvador. It would mean a great deal if you’d celebrate life with us March 9-16, 2013. I do not regret one dollar I’ve spent on Yoga, travel, meals and laughter with good company, and with memorable experiences that leave me feeling deeply in love with life. Join us
I share some insight, humor and Yoga related posts on Facebook. Join the conversation at You, Me and Yoga Makes 3.
I tweet similar musings in 140 characters. Chew with me @mastic8onthis.
danieatslife is being worked on professionals that I am investing my hard-earned dollars from turning Yoga tricks in to take all my previous and current passions into a visually and user-friendly site to stay connected. Please stay tuned.
I’ve been writing almost weekly since April for MindBodyGreen. If you like anything you’ve read by me, please feel enthusiastically invited to read my variety of articles there! Thanks for reading and sharing.
First off, thanks for reading. I’ve had this little site going on two years now. I have no clue how to advertise, except sharing with my friends on Facebook (thanks for indulging and embracing). The only part of this that feels natural is writing. I genuinely enjoy expressing parts of my life and ultimately the hard truths I’m learning as a very fallible, but earnest human being. Perusing my archive articles shows me how much I’ve evolved, how much more honest I’ve become, for better or worse. I can release this content into the digital universe and feel good knowing I was truthful and I aimed to provoke thought, laughter, hunger, insight, joy, enthusiasm or encouragement. My intention was and still is positive. I certainly hope that comes across.
So the photo I included (and will ultimately use to trick people into reading my writing) is from this past weekend when I was visiting my family in North Florida. I always love going home, but every time I go back it’s different. I feel so much more removed, no less close to my family, quite the opposite in-fact, but I feel more at home where I am, in Chicago, with my little apartment, my delicious man and my cooky dogs. I feel so much happier, monumentally happier, calmer, kinder and more at peace than I’ve ever felt in my life.
I was able to see one of my oldest, dearest friends in the world. We’ve known each other since the age of 4. My first and longest friend. Growing up, we were polar opposites, in appearance and personality. We grew apart and back together over and over, but who we are now has merged so beautifully together, like I have more of her and she has more of me. We’re very yin and yang. She’s always had such an amazingly open, compassionate heart. And I’m enjoying feeling more like her, more open in heart, less trapped in my head. Maybe I’ve just softened, she’s probably just as awesome as she always was. But we’d both agree in being smarter, more confident and more happy than we were in our younger years.
So now that I’ve given myself permission to be who I want to be; vulnerable, expressive, open, kind and trusting, funny but not acerbic, honest but with tact, my experience of life has transformed. Before, I saw my flaws, my negative traits, my guilt, my doubt. I saw the exact same thing in others. Now, I’m still aware of the negatives, but I’ve recognized and devoted more attention to the positives, including following a career path that may not be financially lucrative, but is beyond rewarding for my mind, body and heart. That choice has made my relationships better, brought truly awesome people to me, and provided a mirror into relating to myself.
Sounding schizophrenic? Stick with me. I realize now that as a young adult, early to mid-twenties, I felt very defined and glued to my labels, to my past personality and interests. I think moving, changing your life and your surroundings majorly helps thrust this change into high gear, but it is totally within the confines of us all to choose a new path for our future. If we want to be happier, we must be willing to change and to accept change. The only thing that never changes is change! It’s true. No bullshit.
I’m observing how annoyed and often bitter I used to be toward people I felt didn’t deserve their lot in life, for whatever reason. All that did was served to poison me twice. There will always be some who are better, smarter, hotter, richer, slimmer, worse, dumber, uglier, poorer and fatter than we are. No, we will not always like these people, but that doesn’t mean they should get a stake in our happiness. Fuck that. Then we’re stuck in this angry, irritable, negative state all the time, closing ourselves off to our potential and to perfectly good people who are out there, not complaining, who choose to be the reason they are unstuck, happy and grateful to have a life to live.
It’s helpful to remember no matter how great or grim our current circumstances, this, too, shall pass. When we accept and embrace change, we learn to roll with it, instead of swimming against it. Again, the only constant in life is change. Embrace the ebs and flows, the highs and lows, the monumentally ecstatic and the gravel below. Something in you must give comfort in hard times, bad days, tough experiences. There is a strength, an intelligence in you that is an unwavering calm amongst any storm. Simply recognize it.
So, what’s in a pose? To me this pose and photograph represents overcoming fear of the unknown. My hand and foot was sinking. I’ve been practicing for 10 years and only recently have become comfortable in this very challenging balance. It was a posture I resorted may not be in my future, for any number of reasons and excuses. Even just a couple of years ago I’d be so critical of myself that even if my mom suggested I do a yoga pose in my bathing suit in front of the water, because the setting is beautiful and it inspires expression, like a big open smile of a posture, I’d avoid it.
Now, I don’t give a shit. I feel strong and more balanced inside, and if I can express my inner joy and my appreciation for being alive outwardly, then why not? There will be people who don’t like it, think it’s indulgent (which I can understand but I still don’t care), egoic, or ugly. Who knows? It’s not my business what others think of me. I concern myself with me and the better I am to myself, the better I am to others. It’s just worked that way. I’m surrounded by breath-taking people, they fuel me to keep growing.
Apologies for the cleavage, that pose isn’t entirely gravity resistant. Once I surrendered needing to achieve this specific pose, I nailed it when I was relaxed, inspired and just enjoying the moment. Valuing who we are inside will always project out, it is a force that cannot be stopped. Enjoy it.
The further we sink into the sands of our soul, the freer we are to expand in all directions. Be whoever the fuck you wanna be and give those around you the same permission. Life will be exuberant, the tough times will rattle you less, and the exciting times will encourage you more. Go with the flow, try something challenging and be willing to fail, embrace all that you are and you’ll take yourself far, enjoying the journey much more along the way.
Please feel enthusiastically invited to check out my articles on MindBodyGreen, to connect with me via Twitter and Facebook, and to join me for classes in Chicago or on retreats around the globe in 2013.
Only Love will save.
Not flowers. Not praise. Not shiny things. Not accolades.
Only Love.
Real Love.
The love that you Are first.
The Love that you Have second.
Only Love can be perceived without being seen, heard, smelled, tasted or even touched.
Love is known, understood, beyond the limited meaning behind words.
Love is not a noun, adjective or verb.
It is not something you do.
It is something you emanate from your being.
Like the North Star, Love intelligently guides you in the right direction.
Love has no time for time.
Like energy, Love cannot be created or destroyed.
Love can only be.
Make choices only from Love.
You can react from fear or respond from Love.
Only Love penetrates your highest intelligence.
Allow yourself to believe only in Love.
Trust only in Love.
Invest only in Love.
Define yourself only by Love.
Attach yourself only to Love.
Give only Love.
Absorb only Love.
Fixate only on Love.
Pursue only Love.
Celebrate only Love.
Be uplifted only by Love.
Be inspired only by Love.
Walk down paths only lit by Love.
Achieve goals sought only by Love.
Only Love can propel you forward.
While fear holds you hostage, glued to your place.
Only Love carries the side effects of courage, patience and tenacity.
Love is living life in ecstasy.
Only from Love do you radiate joy.
Only through Love is your truth revealed.
Only in Love is genuine happiness felt.
Only in Love does compassion arise.
Only in Love does anxiety subside.
Only in Love does bliss arrive.
Only in Love can you truly thrive.
And only in Love can you be fully alive.
Choose, use and exude only Love.
When you sit still with this flower, one that has surpassed human evolution, existed longer on this planet than us, and you stare into its roots, its essence becomes more evident, and this clarity connects you deeper to your own truth: you are the lotus. You are more than what you can see, than what you can perceive with your five senses. Just by simply being alive now, without your descriptors, without time to define you, you tap into this level of consciousness where time and death do not exist. Everything is beauty. Everything is alive. Nothing is fragmented. Everything is Love. This is the enlightened feeling Oneness. Your intelligence is fully capable of this recognition and appreciation, Now. You only need to be aware.
The objective of Yoga is to calm the fluctuations of the mind in order to find stillness and bliss in the present moment. The mind is often trapped, re-telling old stories from the past and rehearsing hypothetical scenarios for our future. Often, this story-telling creates problems that either never existed or never will come to fruition. That doesn’t stop us from putting ourselves in a state of stress throughout many of the days that make up our weeks. For the past week or so, I have not been practicing what I preach, or rather what I encourage my students to give themselves, because I have been consumed with joy and gratitude over an event that took place last night. The event was Earth Hour. I felt very grateful and immensely excited to teach a Candlelight class for TruHarmony Yoga, a studio that has given me a professional home since I moved to Chicago, and where I feel I’ve been given permission to express my unique vision as a teacher and even as a writer.
I am reflecting on last night, reliving the past, because I was overwhelmed almost to the point of tears at the tremendous group of people who packed our beautiful studio. They are professionals in a myriad of fields, come from many backgrounds, have varying interests, ideals and love their own special group of people, but what they all carried is humility, openness, joy and the desire to be more awake and aware than they were before. That is precisely what Yoga inspires: awareness, gratitude, enthusiasm. It drives you to simultaneously release expectations and invite acceptance while feeling compelled to be better each moment and each day. We powered down our usually heated, well-lit studio to just room temperature, all that we could see was influenced by candlelight and nothing else. There wasn’t much personal space because there were many eager bodies exuding warmth in the room. The city of Chicago could’ve turned off more of their lights, could make a bigger impact and a more concerned effort to conserve but it didn’t matter. We were there, resonating with the rest of the world, appreciating our time together, being alive on this glorious planet.
As if the genuine work put into the event from some very generous and amazing staff wasn’t enough, our practice and our experience was elevated by the presence of a very talented, connected djembe player named Taylor. I’ve experienced the magic in the primal sounds of this percussion before, but in combination with all surrounding elements, it was electric. Taylor is a gifted teacher and beautiful human being, please check him out and listen to his hypnotic music at home. It’s as if all our hearts were now beating to the same drum. We had a collective pulse. We breathed together, flowed together, chanted together and celebrated all that is life in such remarkable simplicity, it’s a wonder more people don’t find a way to live this way every day. We plan to bring more of this goodness into the studio and into the city of Chicago, somehow I feel that although I’ve been teaching for a few years and loved every second of it, that something now has truly just begun. This is the level of consciousness that should spread around our country, our homes, our planet, the universe. It is both evolved and pure, what our natural state should reflect, gratitude and joy. We embrace our differences and feel enthralled by our oneness. We encourage and accept, without competition, with genuine kindness and love. May sound like hippy dippy bullshit to some, and for them, I only wish them the gift of Yoga.
I wanted to share the piece I was asked to write and given the opportunity to share with the beautiful djembe to support my slightly nervous voice. To have family, friends, respected colleagues, fantastic students and new faces sharing in this very present celebration makes me feel inspired to keep improving, to keep loving and to keep living this awesome journey we call life. We printed the poem on eco-friendly paper with a pledge on the back, as an option to take these efforts Beyond the Hour. If you feel compelled to make small changes to better your own life and the quality of our home, planet Earth, then please feel welcomed to take your own pledge. It is essential in Yoga and in the message of Earth Hour to not concentrate on the daunting task of reversing the negative effects we’ve inflicted upon ourselves and our planet, but simply to focus on the means rather than the end, to not waste another moment in negativity or ignorance, and live better for yourself every day. Emanate joy. It is the impulse of the universe, life being lived.
Thank you to everyone who recognized their opportunity to uplift the energy in the room. It is a choice. Keep elevating yourself and others. Thank you to the dedicated and talented TruHarmony Yoga staff, to our pregnant goddess, Ria, for sharing her essential oils, for Taylor and his magic and for the students and their enthusiastic presence. Reduce, reuse and recycle what you can, and recirculate only the emotions that serve you best. You can trash the anger, disappointment, frustration, anxiety and fear. Laugh your ass off and love your life. Otherwise, wtf is the point? You deserve it. Believe it and be it.
You were birthed not to absorb the emotional debt of your parents.
Their dreams. Their mistakes. Their opinions.
You emerged not to retreat back to where you once came.
Your fears. Your lessons. Your truths.
You are granted breath not to hold it hostage beneath your heart.
Your air. Somehow separate. Now belonging to you.
You awaken each day with a pulse, a rhythm with which to live your life.
Your beat. Your stir. Your drum.
You march to it, ignoring the deafening reverberations of others.
Their stomp. Their sync. Their song.
You submerge in it, forgetting.
Your light. Your lyric. Your love.
You find your path again.
Your way. Your trail. Your hum.
You see others on your way.
Their successes. Their struggles. Their psalm.
You let go of it all.
Your past. Your failures. Your brawl.
You hear yourself in their strum.
Your uniqueness. Your sameness. Your all.
You accept what is, the whole.
Your goodness. Their connectedness. Oneness.
You’re All.
There’s been an ever-widening divide between two forces in our country and on our planet, and that is the big bold line between science and spirituality, facts and faith, logic and hope, heads and hearts. For innumerable reasons, some understandable, some completely irrational, we’ve gathered our collective egos and decided there needs to be war between the two instead of a respectful collaboration, perhaps even a friendship full of intelligent debate, where we throw all the unanswered questions into the pot and then work together to ask new questions. Due to human’s knowledge of their impending and inevitable death, often we’re lead into two corners to placate that frightening feeling surrounding the unknown. We seek solace under the exquisitely crafted religious structures to pray, sing and connect with a group of like-minded believers. Or, we throw on lab-coats and delve into the black hole that is scientific research, barely coming up for air, or god forbid food, sex, laughter, pleasure, just emerging for a brief interlude to explain why previous researchers were wrong and why we think we’re right today. Both science and scripture tries to explain the unexplainable, seeks eternal life and aims to quell the anxiety over our seemingly inescapable mortality. Both are right. Both are wrong.
The space between the thinkers and the feelers has been filled with awkwardness, disrespect, and silence. Of course this isn’t the case with every single country, organization or person, but similar to the vast aisle separating democrats and republicans these days, there are more rooms filled with contention and hate, deaf ears and big mouths, than there used to be. There’s independent, atheist yogis like me in the middle, not knowing where to go, not wanting to offend the lefties who seek immediate progress and growth or the righties who seem hell-bent on resisting change. No coincidence here that science and spirit tends to align both left and right along the political spectrum, accordingly, thus creating a canyon, deep and wide, making it even more difficult to bridge and find away across. I feel strongly we could all be less rigid, less feverishly attached to our opinions and more open to a common understanding. This isn’t hippy dippy bullshit I’m spouting. World Peace! The concept of peace as it is understood within yoga and within most spiritual practices, is finding that very special essence within you and living, breathing, expressing and interacting from that space, the place of connectivity with all beings, the bridge from unknown to known, a real down n dirty lotus under the mud groundedness combined with an infinite potential for evolution, an enthusiastic curiosity about the expansive possibilities that not only we as individual human beings possess, but the mystifying unfamiliar presence lurking above the crown of our heads, beyond what meets the eye, beyond what the brain can grasp.
Last night I watched a fascinating documentary about DMT N,N-dimethyltryptamine, a natural occurring substance located in the pineal gland of human brains and active in many sentient beings, including plants and animals all across Earth. DMT has been labeled the spirit molecule, embraced by the brilliant minds aligned with both science and spirit, DMT is a biological locus to consciousness elevation, a molecule when activated, takes us out of our bodies and into the unknown, the infinite, above and beyond what our normal consciousness absorbs and into a heightened realm so potent, so indescribably interwoven and connected with all things, with all that ever was, is and will be, and then gently brings you back down to your body after only 15 minutes, leaving you spellbound and ecstatic. The book and film showcase how DMT, when activated and risen, either through the safe administration of psychedelic drugs (like Dr. Strassman executed in his careful research study) OR experiences felt by delving deeper in the spirit (chanting, praying, meditating) provides this hypnotic experience and leaves its beings changed forever. I’ve never taken DMT, or other psychedelics, but I have many memories and on-going experiences through Yoga and meditation that put me in that place, some with a higher frequency than others. And when I’ve spoken to friends and family about their experiences, either with natural substances or through spiritual ceremony, of course we all experience it uniquely, but the truth we all reach is the same. Oneness.
Let me digress for a moment and talk about drugs. Another divisive topic in our country. We are seemingly determined to remain uptight. If we let go and let live, we’d be so much happier. Anyway, with the loss of Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson, Heath Ledger and copious more we’ve never known through the unhealthy use of man-made drugs, the rich debate stirs on. I am and always will be on the side of natural substances, meaning plants and other elements found on our planet and through very few processes we end up ingesting them. Yes I’m speaking of marijuana and psychedelic mushrooms specifically, and now DMT too. Do I believe you need these substances to achieve this level of connection, truth and bliss? No, of course not, nor do I subscribe to psychedelics as I mentioned above. But make no mistake, I am not against them in the least and know these experiences are very powerful and unique. Why there is a stigma behind these substances and why there is a very obvious divide between drinkers and pill-poppers, and smokers and hallucinators is beyond me. During my college education, I delved deep into the studies of physiology, neurology and biology, during which I took what may be my favorite class of all time and the one whose information has stuck, permanently to my brain and bones, and that class was Psycho-Biological Aspects of Drug Use. A mouth and mind full. What I came away with was the knowledge that alcohol and government constructed medication works against our bodies, seemingly curing some symptoms or issues while creating disease elsewhere. Whether you want to acknowledge it or not, alcohol is poison. It is slowly killing you, destroying your filter systems, brain, heart and tissue.
Do I drink? Socially, yes. Do I get drunk anymore? No. Do I take Advil, antibiotics or other pain meds? Not if I can help it. All of these are depressants and suppressants, with physiological and psychological evidence to show as you take them, your body needs more and more to experience the same result. Alcohol disrupts your sleep, dehydrates you, depresses you mentally and physically, and for some reason I still cannot fathom, it’s our drug of choice. That, caffeine, sugar, fat, and can’t ever forget, MONEY. Somehow many Americans are uncomfortable with the cliché image of hippies high off their asses on shrooms or acid. Understandably, those people can act like utter buffoons and make their fellow man a tad uncomfortable, but for the most part they’re just happy and swaying with the breeze. But watching people fight outside a bar, puke on the street, or cast webs of verbal violence toward others because of their alcohol induced stupor has become not only forgivable, but acceptable. Who stands to profit off either? There’s the answer right there. European settlers came to this country, watched Native Americans worship the animal they were grateful to catch, sheltered under their hide from the rain, using bones as tools and then ceremonially smoking peyote to come together in a celebration of life and gratitude. Who are you to judge that? We are a society that says, you had a bad day, go have a drink. It’s the same damn thing, except these natural substances give you something to take with you besides stinky, painful diarrhea, splitting headaches and multiple apologies. You experience truths, connection, sensation of love and hope, and you don’t forget it. There’s a reason they call marijuana a peace pipe and why most people you know who smoke are fairly happy and laid back. There are exceptions to every rule. There should be a strong application of moderation and balance to everything that gives us sensation and pleasure. Retail therapy, emotional eating, drinking, smoking, and sex are just a few examples of widely abused activities that are healthy when utilized as treats, a ceremony, a method of connection and release, and not as a means of escaping your normal, sober consciousness. Easier said than done, but well within our potential.
I prefer preventive medicine, proven homeopathic remedies that work with our bodies instead of against them, and I prefer to empower myself with knowledge so I can make informed decisions on how to better take care of myself each day. Nutrition, yoga, simple contentment and gratitude, laughter, sex, water and Love. And the recreational puff, puff pass. Judge all you want. Your definition of contentment and personal health will differ, but our focus should be in being healthy and happy everyday, on our own accord, and treating our bodies in a way that we can prevent disease, obesity, heart attacks and cancer, depression and anxiety, work with them when it comes up and not just live unconsciously every single day until inevitably our stressful lives, alcohol and pill use, and chicken mcnugget habit leads to even more disease and the need to pop even more pills. I do not judge your choice, truly. I’ve known family and friends who’ve suffered tremendous illnesses and injuries and in serious need of medical intervention, which improved and many times saved their lives, but instead of fostering a deeper, larger gap between yet another two groups, western and eastern medicine, my desire is to merge the two, work together, just as with science and spirit, both have something valuable to offer. A staggering amount of research has been uncovered and released into the public about medical marijuana (One from a spiritual scientist, One from a book researched and expressed the outcomes of balanced application and use). There’s a good start. Laugh, think freely, eat and love.
I sincerely believe the many controversial issues I’ve brought up here all lead back to the same distance and irreverence, the debate of science and spirituality. The development of the human ego has led to the belief that in order for me to be right, for me to win, to be on top, you must be wrong, a loser at the bottom. Fuck that bullshit. Sometimes a painful reality can only be crossed with fervent truth. And so it requires a staunch “Fuck that”. As I get older and I learn more, I realize how much more I’ve yet to discover and absorb. I know there is far more that I do not know and will never know and this truth does not scare me, does not send me into a church or a bottle of whiskey, it makes me look up into the wondrous sky, engage in thoughtful debates with intelligent minds of differing opinions, it inspires me to get lost staring at a majestic tree, or delving into a nonfiction book or mind-bending piece of art, discovering more about myself and others through yoga, and being open to how much there is to grasp about this planet alone, the life that inhabits earth and finding how much more we are alike than different. We are run by fear, whenever we judge or write off, we reveal more about ourselves and our ignorance. When we are open and humble, we reveal our potential and our essence, Love.
The reason we have so many religions on Earth is because human beings have creative ways of expressing universal truths. Some are based in nothing, are pure fabrications of man and they point to dangerous and unhealthy truths aimed to control, limit and stifle the expansion of knowledge and consciousness. A collective ego leads to more strict applications of what were initially peaceful practices, open and kind. But knowing so many fantastic people of varying faiths and backgrounds, I can accept and attest to the essence and goodness of most, and I think the majority of reasonable people follow these paths to enlightenment and understanding because of a resounding fascination with the unknown. They feel the same pulse and vibrancy I do, a connective thread between us all, the knowledge that each human being is unique and special but none more than the other, and however different our personal expression is, we are conscious souls seeking love and understanding, comprehending space, time, a supremely intelligent and elevated consciousness, that when unattached to materials, to forms, when detached from the fear of death, we can relate and experience, radiate and project out, making our existence and our ticking mortality clock more acceptable; and when exploring both spiritual and scientific research and knowledge, we arm ourselves with the inner and outer reality of immortality, of eternity.
We must transcend and evolve through and beyond where we are now. It might sound frightening, but it’s true. We cannot resist, we must submit and surrender, not as dead fish stuck in the flow, but as a simultaneously knowing and unknowing light, one with the order of the universe. This doesn’t fill me with sadness or anxiety. It fuels me, makes me feel empowered. I want to learn. I want to explore. I want to live. I want to breathe with reverence and gratitude, that air is connective, energetic. I want to study and soak in visceral elements, ad then gaze into the boundless starry abyss and imagine how much more there is to discover. The unknown is not haunted or horrendous. It is fascinating, humbling, enigmatic, similar to life on Earth. Let’s acknowledge that the scientist exploring space or molecules, engrossed in his study of the unknown, is just as passionate and eager as our favorite religious leaders and teachers, in a similar path toward connection and truth. There is value in investigating both and infinite possibilities when choosing to respect and affirm the duality of existence, and the exciting areas in between.
Embrace the unknown. There is tremendous beauty and truth in what we cannot see.
I am not one that gives credence to superstition, astrology, or numerology. I’m fairly fact based, über logical, teetering on unromantic. Boy what love will do to drastically morph your perspective. I do believe there is no reality, there is only perception. And how I perceive the world, and days like today, changes depending on my current physical and mental state. I’m drawn to Yoga and the unique manifestations inspired by Love because of how it’s reformed me; a recovering cynic, someone plagued by their own expectations, the worry I’ll never meet them, and the vicious cycle of placing them on myself time and time again. Where will I be by this date? This age? This stage? This page? It doesn’t matter.
What matters, of course, is where I am in this moment. And if in this moment, I’m corrupted by the soul squandering thoughts of disappointment and self-doubt, then how am I possibly affecting my world? Not well, or certainly not well enough. So, Yoga allowed me to relax, dip into the ooey gooey, lovey dovey parts of me I was too fearful to extract on my own, so I let people and practice do it for me. Like most of us, I place importance on uplifting my friends, encouraging them in a way I can’t seem to turn on myself. They of course give that right back to me, but why can’t we give it to ourselves first, truly, genuinely live by example, through the love of self? Intellectually I know I’m worthy of love, otherwise it would lead to a lack of standards in my external life, in how I allow others to treat me and treat those I love. And so I’m recognizing how relationships are teachers in the school of treatment. We get what we give and slowly I’m opening to treating myself how I treat others and how they treat me. I hope we all can do the same.
We all have significant numbers in our lives. I’ve mentioned in a previous article that mine is 22; interestingly enough a multiple of 11, a double-digit repeat, and a number more readily seen in the western world of digital clocks and a love of sports. 11 conjures up a mixture of emotions. Coincidence often predicates significance. Instead of placing too much importance on fatalism or these random occurrences, I choose to let them remind me to love and be grateful. Those reminders are never bad, never overlooked.
Perhaps the truth of today is the emphasis on the number 1. All numbers are divisible by one and when multiplied by one the result is itself. Many conscious beings on this planet, regardless of the deity they choose to believe or derive inspiration, adhere and adorn a universal truth: Everything is One, We are all One. It is in this vein, in this truth, that I write today. I feel more deeply connected to humans and other sentient beings today than I have any previous day, this having little to do with 11-11-11, and more to do with the epiphanies and revelations I’ve had on my journey to this point. Like a trek, climbing Mount Everest, I stop at base points to restore and reflect on what I’ve acquired up to now. Today is an opportunity to hold, ponder, breathe deeply while still, listen profoundly while silent, allow the past to sink in and the future to unfold while being one with presence.
I woke up this morning, unable to speak, frustrated for a moment and then empowered by other facets of communication. I will smile as I usually do and connect in the greatest way nature gave me, in a sincere recognition of one’s presence, a notion of gratitude and an inherent knowledge of giving and receiving Love.
I am One. I am All. You are Love. So am I. We are One. Love One. Love All. One Love.
Numbers mean nothing
Sentiment is contrived emotion
To feel deeply, let go
To experience love, give
Where are we going?
Where’s the value in doing?
Significance is determined by perception
Dream the result of conception
We underappreciate being
Overappreciate speaking
Disrespect stillness
Negate realness
What is my real voice?
Where do I belong?
I am at once all and none
You, Me, Him, and She. We’re ONE.
I used to feel that life was very black and white, and to be strong in your convictions was important; therefore, you must choose one or the other. Through life experiences, exposure and absorption of provocative art, cerebral and esoteric conversations and the down and dirty practice of Yoga, I’ve not only become more comfortable with gray, but I’m now embracing contradiction, the existence of hypocrisy and the potential for relating and understanding many angles to arguments and the endless spectrum in which people live their lives. There are some key issues that haven’t changed, they’ve probably deepened, but for the most part I’m becoming more comfortable in the unknown, in the ambiguity of life. And I’m grateful. It is deeply mystifying to explore the duality of life. Being a student and teacher of Yoga, a practice meant to be inclusive, gathering, welcoming, awareness driven but never preachy, enlightenment as intention with emphasis on lessons to be gleaned from darkness and suffering, has nailed down what is really important, and diminished the weight of what is not. It resonates and elevates beyond the confines of the mat. It has taught me to radiate Yoga out and in turn, harness it deeper within.
This is all very granola, somewhat cliché hippy dippy talk. I’m fine with that. My delving into the practice led me toward explorations and relationships that now make me better and my form of expression is words. Words are meaningless, but they’re all I have. I cannot paint (my art teacher made fun of me, seriously). I do not sing (to others, you’re welcome for that). I love to dance but do not have the lifelong acquired skill to express my feelings and interpret for others to enjoy, except in the creation of my vinyasa sequences. I cannot operate a camera with more than 5 settings (I leave that to the very talented and skilled men in my life). For me, I feel strong when I share, in teaching and in scribing, speaking and corresponding. I’ve been crippled by excessive self-awareness, questioning my skills, whether anyone would want to listen or read, and similar to excessive confidence and the lack of self-awareness, each are driven by the ego, by fear. Yoga shines a light on the ego’s dark existence, bringing in an awareness that slowly dissolves fear and a presence in which the ego simply cannot survive. I’ve slowly gotten over myself, not thinking of myself as great, but also not thinking of myself as inadequate. I am perfectly adequate, and so are you. I care, deeply, for people and for my life to have meaning, to feel effectual and align the external with the internal. Again, duality.
Below started as a game of wordplay, of antonyms, of complexity, and of analyzing the meaning of Yoga, both literally and figuratively. Yoga’s root word is yolk, meaning union, the roots being the union of unconscious and conscious, horizontal and vertical, mortality and divinity. What arrived after a long, run-on sentence, was somewhat of an interesting poem, and keeping in line with everything Yoga has extracted and taught, I thought instead of hoarding it, fearing its unworthiness and doubting its purpose, why not share in something many of us already love, a truth you already know, and share with some who may not have felt the magic of Yoga yet, but perhaps you can relate in your own way. We all can be yogic, being able to touch your toes or twist into a pretzel has very little to do with the intended results. Some of the most beautiful yogis in my life either cannot or do not practice what we’d all assume to be this ancient practice. It has proven benefits for your mind, body and soul, brings a deeper appreciation of this very second, eliminates psychological time, and fosters a very supportive and fun community.
I can only hope I’ve had a fraction of the impact on my students as they’ve had on me. My persistent goal is to keep learning. We’re never finished, treating the means as the end makes the end unpredictably sweeter and the journey exponentially more potent and alive. I’m no longer anxious for what tomorrow will bring or incessantly focused on having a plan. I’m embracing presence as a priority and allowing the path to unfold before my eyes. I’ve recognized I do not have all the answers and I do not need them, I’m open and willing to learn them as I’m exposed, being kinder to myself and reverberating that to my world, hoping it’s boundless. I wish for not only the people I love, but also the people so wrecked with pain, those I still do not understand, and those I’ll never meet, to find their own yogic truth. Who you are is beautiful, give fear and your ego a big middle finger. Give yourself the gift of yoga.
Shanti (peace) and Namaste (I see you, the light in me acknowledges, respects, the light in you.).
Union
Symbiosis
Mind and body
Human and mat
Ego and essence
Time versus presence
Self doubt and confidence
Fear and passion
Art and skill
Strength and flexibility
Inhaling and exhaling
Rooting down and rising up
Succeeding and failing
Contentment and insatiability
Stamina and Stillness
Energy high and energy low
Sun and snow
Hatha and flow
Knowing and unknown
Yin and Yang
Human and Being
We’re all the same
